PENSACOLA, Florida - (Satire News) - GOPicky Magazine reports that the Donald, as his estranged wife Melania calls him, held a rally at a Walmart parking lot in Pensacola.
The event was attended by 14 people, including the Trumptwits three bodyguards, and his official Big Mac "Fetcher."
The other 10 people were furious with him because they were merely just trying to get to their cars.
Hula Hemmingwire, 83, was one who was desperately trying to get to her 2002 Kia Sayonara.
She is a dyed-in-the-wool Republican, but she expressed that she would not let the "Orange Douche Bag" grab her old pussy for $3,000, and she's on food stamps.
Hemmingwire noted that "Buffalo Butt," was wearing a pink Mar-a-Lago Rocks shirt, tight, nasty-looking Bermuda shorts, and lavender sandals (size 6), which is very small size for a male.
Trump also promised that when he is elected he will immediately bomb Moscow, Hong Kong, and Paris.
When asked why Paris, he replied, "Because the MoFo's have not paid us what they owe us from World War II."
Info guru Andy Cohen pointed out that he heard from a source inside Mar-a-Lago that "Baby Fingers" is seriously thinking about fleeing to Argentina, where a lot of relatives of World War II Nazi's still reside.
SIDENOTE: "Moby" Trump is still eating 10 Big Macs a day and his weight has now ballooned up to 369½ pounds.
