NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The New York Sunshine Observer Newspaper, has just named the city of Chicago as "The Bullet Capital of The World."
Reporter Carmine Calatino, stated that the Windy City, just in the past 10 months, has surpassed Kabul, Afghanistan; Kyiv Ukraine; and Guatemala City, Guatemala in the number of bullets fired on a weekly basis.
Calatino, who was born in the Bronx, commented that he thought the Bronx gun shops sold lots of bullets, but compared to Chicago gun shops, the Bronx gun shops are like Girl Scouts compared to WWE wrestlers.
A member of the Chicago Police Department, who did not want his name or even his badge number revealed, stated that Chicago's gun shops sell over 29 million bullets per week, which means that, that's 9.6 bullets per every man, woman, and child living in the "Wild West City" of Chitown. ■
