CHICAGO – (Satire News) – In what is being called the biggest sinkhole since the infamous Kalahari Desert Sinkhole of September 13, 1613, a huge one-block in circumference sinkhole has just swallowed up the 73-Story Chaka Khan Musical Building in the Windy City.
Luckily no one was hurt as meteorologists were able to put out a 14-minute warning before the building was totally swallowed up.
An eye-witness said that the screeching noise sounded absolutely horrifying and he compared it to the high-pitched, nauseating sound of 200 Gilbert Gottfried’s yelling at the top of their lungs.
The building which was opened in 1999, housed over 250 companies, including the Hercules Brand Condom Company, The Joan of Arc Insurance Company, El Matador Tequila Inc., and Tampons ‘R’ Us.
SIDENOTE: A group of Federal building inspectors say that they have considered possibly trying to lift the entire building out of the sinkhole, but they noted that it would take a crane the size of one of the Egyptian pyramids, and no such crane exits anywhere on earth.