Mitt Romney has been questioned again and again by rabid reporters, and he refuses to speak …
… to confirm or deny ever hearing about the Mormon church hiding millions of dollars through fake companies, and says that his religion was not started by a shyster named Joseph Smith who pretended to read a holy book tucked into a hat – that only he could read it, he wasn’t making it up, it was written like all other holy books, but some guy trying to fake his way into money and woman’s panties (or guy’s panties, like Jesus.)
Mitt didn’t say a thing, he just kept walking faster and faster in his Gucci loafers as his private helicopter revved up on the landing pad.
Though a fan of Mitt said, “Why shouldn’t the Church of Jesus Christ of … I dunno, the title goes on and on, whatever the hell a latter day saint is … oh right, I’m a fan, right … well, why shouldn’t the Mormons make a little profit on their scam – I mean, religion? They all do it! You know how many offshore bank accounts the Catholics have? Who do you think owns Switzerland? And why that country is basically just a giant bank? The Mormons just wanted in on the action. It ain’t wrong to skim a little off the top to make your retirement full of golf and hookers, now, ain’t it?”
Good question, but no one affiliated with the Church of Latter Day Jesus Lovers … or whatever, has yet to speak openly on this hot button issue. And Mitt is a thousand feet in the air by now, smoking fat cigars, lit with $100 bills.
