CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Chicago's Channel 101 Eyewitnesser News reports that a spy balloon with Chinese markings landed in an unnamed slum in Chitown and within 45 seconds teenage vandals completely stripped it.
A witness to the stripping said that it looked like a bunch of lions fighting over a the corpse of a gazelle.
The Chicago Police Department is reporting that they have found several balloon parts in three different pawn shops.
CPD officer Chad "Stickem Up" Bignell [Badge #55503921] said that they were able to take half a dozen fingerprints and the little bastards will be apprehended and placed in juvenile detention centers.
Meanwhile in weather news from Siberia. It is still colder than a mother effen mother effer.
