A Missouri Man Says His Monkey Is Not Only Smart, But She's Sexy As Well

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 16 January 2023

image for A Missouri Man Says His Monkey Is Not Only Smart, But She's Sexy As Well
Herb says Zelda makes a fantastic Vichyssoise.

STUBBORN MULE, Missouri - (Satire News) - An insurance agent who resides and works in Stubborn Mule, recently revealed that he is married to a Laotian Zoompacki Monkey.

Herbert James Flisky, 42, said that he married his monkey wife, Zelda, after he adopted her from the Bronx Zoo, nine months ago.

Flisky said that the paperwork involved was extensive, but he said that Zelda is worth every penny of the $4,975, that he paid for her.

Herb told Papaya Bamboo with Tabloid Today that Zelda is not only very smart, with an IQ of 129, but she is also quite sexy.

He explained he had never met a smarter, sexier female monkey in his entire life.

SIDENOTE: Flisky told Miss Bamboo that the one drawback is that his four children all refuse to visit him because he's married to an animal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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