MOSCOW - (Satire News) - Russian authorities report that UK pilot Capt. Winthrop D. Greengate, who was shot down near the town of Losova, Ukraine, is now being held in an undisclosed prison in the USSR.
Capt. Greengate says that he feels somewhat okay, except for the fact that he has not been allowed to bathe in 19 days, he needs to shave, and his nipples are badly bruised from the crash.
He added that he is also suffering from a horrible case of the Commie Boom Boom Rash, which extends from his belly button down to his nut sack.
The pilot, who says he's already learned about 41 Cambodia words including the vulgar word, Nanoshintufuc, which means, whore with a very impressive pussy, has said that he is sick and fucking tired of eating damn rice; rice sandwiches, rice cakes, rice pizza, rice jello, riceburgers, rice pudding, and rice tacos. ■
