WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Well it appears that the man who endangered the nation by telling his home-grown American terrorists to storm the capital and capture Pence and Pelosi has finally seen the writing on the wall (not the border wall).
The Trumpturd realizing that the walls are closing in on him (no pun intended) has decided that the time has come for him to grab his set of golf clubs, his set of six combs, and his McDonald's credit card and get the hell out of Dodge.
If one thought that the Summer Heat Waves were horribly horrendous just multiply that times 8 and that is what El Estupido Trumpo is feeling right now.
And to make matters worse, he is feeling like the Lone Ranger because Melania has left his orange ass for LeBron James, Ivanka has disowned him, Barron said his father is a racist predator, and the Trumptard's second wife, Marla Maples is now saying that he used to wear her bikini thong panties and pretend he was Kathy Griffin.
And yet, the "Pied Piper of The Potomac" who led his people to a fucking dead end, insists that it is all simply a hoax that will come out in the wash.
"The Orange Douche Bag" has no idea where to run. England doesn't want him, neither does Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Germany, Kenya, Iceland, or even Switzerland.
SIDENOTE: Cosmos News Service writer Zackary Yukon writes that maybe,just maybe the third-rate country of Cambodia, may allow the evil racist to enter one of their semi-isolated jungles.
