Like a dog, Mike Pence is faithful till the end.
He doesn’t like Joe Biden accusing Donald Trump and MAGA assholes of being fascist shitheads. Even when they vowed to hang Pence on Jan 6. Even after Trump himself said a few negative words about Pence. But once a VP, always …
This is a trend with Pence.
He once had his pet dog bite his crotch, drawing blood, and he had to go to the hospital to get his balls sewn back into their sack. He said, “Good doggy.”
Once his wife slammed a frying pan into his head for forgetting their anniversary, and Mike said, “Me love you long time, honey.”
While lighting the barbecue, he lit himself on fire, and said to his guests, “How do you like your steaks, everybody?”
He once got hit by a car, which was driven by a pair of thieves just coming from a bank robbery, and Mike said, “Golly! That’s a sweet ride, boys!”
Members of the KKK mistook Mike for the kind of person the Klan hates (they were very drunk at the time) and were about to string him up from the highest branch of the old lynchin’ tree, when Mike said, “I love those outfits, fellas. Can I get one?”
He once fell down a well and wasn’t found for weeks. When rescue crews finally brought him to the surface, all Mike said was, “Look! I found a penny!”
I mean this guy is dumb … or faithful, whatever. Is your dog dumb or faithful or both? Do you have to have one to get the other? The Mike Pence Paradox … for years this unsolvable conundrum has been baffling scientists and moralists and just anyone with basic common sense.
Don’t try to figure him out, it’ll make your brain hurt. Mike has no brain, so no pain. Even if his brain was surgical removed, he’d say, “Now I can wear a hat again! Thanks, doc!”
