Phil Mickelson Will Play Masters Under A Different Name

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Saturday, 2 April 2022

image for Phil Mickelson Will Play Masters Under A Different Name
Who is that guy? And why is everyone booing him?

American golf legend, Phil Mickelson, had officially pulled out of the 2022 Masters golf tournament, but announced this week that he will play, only under a different name...and with a fake mustache and large brimmed hat.

Mickelson has been shunned in the golf world since taking a large dump on the PGA tour that has made him a millionaire, and then insulting the Saudi's just for good measure. Not to mention, Greg Norman wants to kick him square in the Titleists.

So, look for handsomely mustached Bill Pickleson to be teeing it up—but staying well away from anyone who ever knew him or had anything to do with him, especially Greg Norman.

Phil, I mean Bill, told GolfUndigested Magazine, that he feels comfortable that he can play using an alias with thick facial hair and big hat with all that pressure on him, even if everyone at the Masters knows that it's really him. He says his sports psychologist has assured him that this is a healthy way to deal with it.

He hopes mostly now to find a mustache that stays on as well as it says it will on the box, apparently testing many before finding one that really suited his game. "Most just got caught up in my backswing," Bill told GolfUndigested, "but I think it's coming around." Bill describes his mustache, 'as the the son from the old Sanford & Son TV show. And he hopes it does all the talking for him.

As for the large hat, Bill says he hasn't made up his mind yet—but has it narrowed down to a sombrero, a fly fisherman, or one like the Queen wears to a funeral. "It's gotta look good with a green jacket, though," a cocky Pickleson said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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