China Is Buying the World, and It’s Our Fault

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 8 June 2022

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Your Future Currency

I went to the dollar store the other day and bought some lovely cheap crap, and when I flipped it over to see where it was made, I discovered it had been made in China.

I went through the aisles of the store and found that a lot of crap was made there. I quickly hopped in my autogyro and went to Walmart and various other stores, panic gripping my very soul, flipping over tons of crappy products to discover that they had ALL BEEN MADE IN CHINA!


I got on the top secret red phone and called a contact of mine known only as “Deep Colon”.

He said through crackling static, “You’re getting too close. They have technology in every country, spies, listening devices. They track what you purchase, where, and when – they know you only as a demographic. They like you buying crap in dollar stores and elsewhere. Big stores have their stuff too – Amazon. Ever see where Amazon gets its stuff? Its main competitor is Alibaba ... the Chinese version of Amazon!"

My breath quickened, chest heaving, as I asked, “But why, why, why, China?”

After a short pause, in which he lit a cigarette (remember the “Smoking Man’ from the X-Files. Think of him while I reveal this next bit.)

“Remember Air Jordans and the rise of Nike in the 1980s? All companies from the West sent their unsewn shoes to China to be sewn together, essentially, by slave labour. Reports vary, but I’ve heard the average factory worker in China makes just over $3 an hour. They make a $45 doll for Walt Disney, and the worker keeps 4 cents per doll.

“WE MADE THEM STINKING RICH. And now they want the world.

“The Solomon Islands – in fact, every territory in the Pacific not owned by America or a European nation, will soon turn into a “worker’s paradise” due to China’s buying up everything. Barbados left the British Commonwealth – why? China is pouring billions into Barbados, including into its army (what better way to fight an upcoming massive war then by having other people’s army’s fight for you? The British did this in World War 2, amassing all of the English-speaking people’s to fight a European war.)

The Chinese are pouring money throughout the Caribbean, Africa, Asia, you name it, they wanna be there. Isn’t this what America has been doing during the reign of its Empire? China is the new America. But China knows it’s fascist, not even trying to pretend their democratic – oh, wait, yeah I think they’re starting to do that now to make everybody like them instead of being highly suspicious of them.

“But make no mistake: in order to save money via outsourcing, sending jobs to Mexico, sending shoes to be sewn to China ... it’s all coming back to bite us in the ass. Better wear Teflon underwear – but even that’s made in China! If there aren’t now, there’ll be GPS tracking chips in all Chinese crap in your house. Your toaster is spying on you, fuckers!”

He slammed down the phone, scared for his life since, of course, his phone could easily be listening and recording his conversation. Mine too!

Soon, if not already, we will all live in fear since we’ve made China rich. What do the rich do? Want power. Power over other nations. As with companies growing bigger by buying other companies, there will one day be only a few nations (maybe 3 or 4) which control all other nations.

In George Orwell’s 1984, there were only three nations on the planet, always at constant war, or so they said, to keep their populations under control), though likely those three were in cahoots with each other. All enemies become friends when money is involved. Does America really care about Chinese human rights violations? Ask an African-American. After Lincoln freed the slaves, did the racism plantation owner say: oh well, it was fun, now go along slave and be a free man like us. Why then the need for Martin Luther King? And how’s George Floyd doing these days?

One final note to increase your fear at how the world will one day look: according to Communist Manifesto theory (which no rich man will ever read), there should never be a single millionaire in a communist country. One person shall not rise above his fellow man, but shall instead remain equal.

Money is the beginning of inequality.

And yet, currently, China has more millionaires than any other country in the world.

All ideologies, also, fail and fall when money rises.

Start learning Cantonese ... my best advice. That way you’ll know if they’re sending you to the “re-education” camps or to the concentration camps ... same thing to a country as psychopathic as a serial killer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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