I can’t figure who or what these Proud Boys are.
According to Wikipedia, the group was founded by a white Canadian guy who was once a comedian. So was the Proud Boys started as a joke that got out of hand? The name for the group came from a song in Disney’s “Aladdin”. Hilarious so far.
Do they hate women, or just won’t let girls into their tree fort? Are they racist? The guy who took over from the Canadian is a Cuban-American and Afro-Cuban who says he’s not a white supremacist. But he goes after Black Live Matter, stealing and burning a BLM banner, but he said it wasn’t a hate crime.
I was confused. I WAS confused, but then a revelation hit met.
If one brings in the theory known as Occam’s Razor, which basically states that the simplest answer is most likely the correct one, then one sees the Boys in all their true glory.
What they hate, they actually love; what they love, they actually hate.
So, when they say they aren’t racist or sexist or anti-Semitic or whatever form of hatred ... is it the point of every hate group to say the opposite of what you mean? After all, there was no Pizza Gate, but Republicans seemed to think there was ... and Donald Trump was photographed with Jeffrey Epstein, dancing where he stood and biting his lips in, as Billy Crystal called it, “... the white man’s overbite.”
Dancing, dancing, dancing ... and we all have seen how Donny likes to dance.
The revelation hit: OMG, the Proud Boys are gay! That’s the simplest explanation for the whole thing.
Ask most gay people and they will tell you that, yes, it’s difficult, if not a hellish nightmare, to come out of the closet. Lots of gay people stay inside the closet. And form clubs where they can hang around with same-sex people and talk and laugh and ... maybe even fall in love?
Except that the Proud Boys may prevent themselves from falling in love with each other, keeping things on a bromance level only, no sex involved, no hot sweaty nights in the back of a U-Haul trailer trying on each other’s face masks, rubbing groins together ‘cuz there ain’t a lot of space in them U-Hauls, feeling your buddy’s bulge pressing hard against the ass end of your camo pants
... oh my, gettin’ kinda warm in here ...
Now it makes sense. This is why they protest. Why they go out of their way to find things to protest against. The best defense is an offensive offense.
You could have three gay people holding a pride parade in the tiniest hamlet in America ... and the Boys will ride on into town and pop out of the back of the trailer like Vietnam soldiers from the belly of a Huey.
Semper Fi!
Which makes me think: why don’t these guys just join the military? Lots of other male specimens mulling around in their shorts and t-shirts, working out, pumping iron, spotting each other, admiring each other’s bodily development, maybe slapping each other’s asses for encouragement, then hitting those communal showers.
Sure there are some girls, but they have guns and like to shoot stuff, so that’s OK. If they really can’t get themselves out of that U-Haul – I mean, closet – then just join This Man’s Army!
Has anyone ever done a poll on how many soldiers become gay during or after their tours of duty? What Cuban-American or Canadian comedian is going to start up a Proud Gay Army (although the golfing organization may have some trademark complaints), where during the day you play war games, then at night they relax by a fire on a bear skin rug feeding each other bon-bons and vowing to never stop fighting ... for each other’s love!
We play hard, we party harder! There’s your slogan ... if only you would accept the truth of yourselves and abandon the violence to embrace the love!
Be fabulous, Proud Boys, and sing all the Disney cartoon songs you want!
