BUENAS NOCHES, California – (Satire News) – The Omnium Gatherum News Agency is reporting that Devin Nunes, who is one of the Trumptard’s biggest ass kissers (along with Hannity, Jordan, Gaetz, and that horrendously horrible-looking skank Marjorie Taylor Greene) will be resigning his congressional position.
Nunes, who has all the charm of wolverine vomit, told GOPicky Magazine reporter Tabitha Tula Wishywater, that he has agreed to run Trumpo’s 2024 presidential campaign.
But, the space cadet Nunes, has no inkling (apparently) that the predatorial, lying SOB (i.e. Trump) will soon be fitted for an orange prison jumpsuit.
The California representative did want to point out that the rumors that he and Melania’s husband have been mentally, emotionally, and sexually intimate are positively 99.3% false.
He told Miss Wishywater that just because, on maybe 2 or 7 occasions, the two did share a quasi-passionate kiss does not mean that they are of the sidesaddle-riding persuasion.
SIDENOTE: Wishywater contacted “Old Baby Fingers” (DJT) and asked him about the quasi-passionate kisses, and (of course) he replied with his assholian standardized answer of “I don’t know Nunes and I have never met him.”
