85% of Americans can't name who the President was yesterday

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Wednesday, 20 January 2021

image for 85% of Americans can't name who the President was yesterday
If you have trouble remembering former presidents, try carving their faces into a rock

It is 2 hours after Joe Biden's inauguration as US President and a shocking survey has shown that the vast majority - over 80% - of Americans can't remember who was President this morning.

Methew Jefferson, 45, is an unemployed fast food restaurant worker. "Are you asking me who was President yesterday?" he asked rhetorically. "Do I look like a history professor to you?"

Other Americans interviewed by TheSpoof were equally ignorant. Bill Crackhouse, 22, is an unemployed grandfather. "Let me see," he said. "I remember he was bad-ass. As in, he had this gigantic blubbery ass that looked really disgusting in every photo he was in. What a bad ass he had! His name, I can't remember. President Fat-ass?"

Vietnam vet and retired vet Yvette MDMA, 61, could almost remember him. "He tried to get his followers to storm the capital building in Washington. You'd think I'd remember him after that, but no, it's gone. Wait, was that just a movie I saw? He used to be on Twitbook, I know that. Say, do you want to buy some drugs?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more