WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Washington Globe-Express has confirmed that the former president insisted that 46 of the nation’s top military officials make a contribution to one of his many personal funds.
Lola Watergold with the Globe-Express stated that she received the info from three highly reliable sources, including Bedroom Pillow Talk and iRumors.
One general, who did not want his name mentioned, told Miss Watergold that Trump actually told him that if he did not mail him a check for the $16,000, within 48 hours, that he would bust him down to a Staff Sergeant.
Meanwhile Admiral Gunther R. Gillarillo, Jr., revealed that since he did not mail Trump the money in a timely manner, “Old Toddler Fingers” tacked on another $2,000 finance charge.
SIDENOTE: A top New York state investigator was asked how the tax evasion investigation on Trump is coming along, and the reply was that DJT had better start getting used to not eating his customary 9 Big Macs a day.