Why Is It That Bald Headed Kids Always Seem To Get Cancer? Asks Wanker.

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Sunday, 6 June 2021

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FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — After friends, family and classmates came together to support a South Florida kid fighting cancer local man, Kevin Rogerson, was overheard asking his wife why was it that a disproportionate of bald children seemed to catch cancer.

Merideth Taylor was diagnosed with B-Cell Lymphoma at age of 11 and is Kevin's wife's niece.

She begins treatment next week at the Saint Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, so family and friends drove by her house to encourage her before she began treatment. It was during this driveby that Kevin noted the odd correlation between kids with cancer and baldness.

"I'm no expert but as far as I can tell bald kids get cancer more than kids with full heads of hair. Just walk around any hospital and you will see most of them are bald as fuck. If I had a kid I would not promote shaving their head. You are literally playing with fire if you ask me. Put the clippers away for fucks sake. Wake up, people."

Kevin has since set up a Go-Fund-Me page where he will be accepting donations to seek alternative treatment for Meredith.

"I'm thinking that if we can somehow stop these kids shaving their heads or stop them from going bald we may be able to reduce cancer rates. Therefore every dollar donated will be spent on getting a Meredith a hair transplant. If my theory is correct then maybe, just maybe, I will have found the cure for cancer."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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