New York Man Says There Are Two Things You Can Be Sure Of

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 20 June 2020

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A man in New York has spoken out about what he says are the two things in life that are so certain, that they are absolutely impossible to escape.

Andrew Smith, of Long Island, was evaluating the drudgery, lack of freedom, and uncertainty of modern life, and echoed the words of Christopher Bullock who wrote in 'The Cobbler of Preston' way back in 1716:

"'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but Death and Taxis."

These wise and all-knowing words were echoed by Daniel Defoe in 1726, and by Benjamin Franklin in 1789, and, of course, by many others since, culminating with Smith, last week.

He said:

"When everything else is so random, and so uncertain, it's comforting to know that two things you can rely upon in the Big Apple are dying and cabs."

There are more than 13,000 official cabs in New York, and, wherever they might be in the city, people can always be sure there will be one along in a minute.

"It's guaranteed," said Smith. "Just like death."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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