Besides Skipping Texas, Senator Ted Cruz Has A Puddle Belly

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 18 February 2021

image for Besides Skipping Texas, Senator Ted Cruz Has A Puddle Belly
"It's a dang shame. I'd like to go to Cancun."

Besides skipping Texas during the freeze to vacation in Cancun, Senator Ted Cruz was filmed walking across the airport, pulling a pregnant suitcase, as though he were planning to stay a month. He claimed it was an overnight stay.

All that was sufficiently incriminating, but the belly over the belt was the real, second atrocity.

He may think he looks cool, but he looked a mess. The visual was bad. The good news, if it can be called good, was that he was wearing a shirt. Short sleeve, ugh, but at least the shirt covered a full-frontal naked view.

He claimed, after he was caught, to be chaperoning his daughters on the flight. Yeah, so why the pregnant suitcase for an overnight flight? You have maybe an inflatable mattress folded up in there?

Chaperoning daughters also traveling with their mother? Gee, the girls sure don’t look like a pair of wild savages who must be restrained from climbing into the overhead, playing tag in the aisles, or smoking in the laboratory.

Good try with chaperoning, but no reprieve.

But the belly? Caramba! Do some sit-ups, wear a jacket, or stay home behind a desk, a large desk representing your constituents. People are dying from the freeze in Texas. People need running water. They're told to boil water. They have no gas or electricity to boil water or to stay warm. They need generators for warmth. Also, food, in other words, stay home and do your job.

Or quit your job, give it to Beto O'Rourke and go back to Cancun.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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