Donald Trump Announces 3rd Divorce

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 17 February 2021

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Say it isn't so...

Stop the presses! This is a surprise. Guess who is getting a divorce? Donald Trump! But here's the real surprise: it isn’t from Melania, but from, of all people, Rudolph Giuliani!

It was the dripping hair color. Soooo un-Trump! One inch, maybe. Ivanka’s roots show for about an inch once in a while. But Giuliani’s color drip wasn’t at the roots, and the drips went all the way down his face and neck. And on both sides. Say what you may about Donald’s hair, the fake color has never been seen to drip.

What was even more disturbing (and may have hammered the final nail in the coffin of marriage) was holding a campaign press conference on the street, in front of a porn shop and a crematorium.

Downer.

So the divorce is on. Trump blames Giuliani for losing the election.

Losing? What?

Wasn’t the attempted coup/revolution at the Capitol on January 6, because the election was stolen? Hasn’t Trump been predicting that if he lost the election it would be because it was rigged and would be stolen? Isn’t that why Trump told his followers that they had to march down to the Capitol to fight and stop the certification, or they would lose the country because the election was stolen?

No judge is going to grant a divorce with that kind of conflict. Certainly, Giuliani didn’t steal the election from Trump. Why would Trump blame Giuliani?

Maybe it's just a lover’s spat? The judge might recommend counseling to get these two folks together.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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