Elder Porn! Seniors Caught Exchanging Explicit Photos

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 27 January 2021

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They were babies once...

Leisure Land Senior Village, Laguna Beach, CA. Special to The Spoof. Authorities here are cracking down on a ring of seniors - men and women - who have been using computers in the community library to circulate what are referred to as overly explicit personal photos, legally described as senile pornography. Several arrests were made today but no charges have been filed as of this evening.

"We were only doing what our great grandkids do all the time," said Mabel, a 90-year-old female resident. "I thought it was fun, and Harold was elated when he got my pics." She made her comment when interviewed at the rec hall, where several of the elderly residents had gathered to discuss the arrests.

After considering a recall of the elected sheriff, they connected with the ACLU. Some of the seniors displayed their suspected elicit photos. Mabel offered one that the sheriff had not seized. "Here's that famous photo of Harold in the nude."

Amid gasps from the other women present, Mabel held up the picture for all to see.

"Yes, Harold's nude, but the photo only shows him from the waist up. I guess it was his belly button that disturbed the sheriff." Harold was clearly visible in the picture, as were his plavix bruises, large but irregular-shaped blackish-purple blotches on his torso, caused by the blood thinner. Several of the women turned their heads away when the photo was first posted, but eventually took a slight glance at it.

"That must be why Harold never takes his shirt off when he sits by the pool," said one. "It's yucky," said her companion.

Mabel then offered a photo of herself, one that she had sent via email from the library computer to Harold. In it, Mabel was visible only from the waist down, her brief discreetly in place.

"My God, Mabel, I didn't know you had such ugly varicose veins," said another elderly woman. "You meed to see a doctor."

Mabel responded: "That's why when you see me with Harold at the pool I'm always wearing full length jeans... and he has his shirt on!"

At this point, the ACLU lawyer arrived and looked at the two photos Mabel had displayed. "This isn't pornography," he ruled. A sigh of relief came from most of those present. "However, these ought to be banned. They're beyond gross."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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