Trump Opens 2024 Bid by Attacking Rival Ted Cruz, Citing 2016 Iowa Fraud, JFK Shooting and Ugly Wife

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Thursday, 21 January 2021

image for Trump Opens 2024 Bid by Attacking Rival Ted Cruz, Citing 2016 Iowa Fraud, JFK Shooting and Ugly Wife

Mar-A-Lago - Recently departed former President Donald Trump, on a day following his speech to supporters at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, has declared his candidacy for President in 2024, and immediately attacked his two expected challengers for the nomination by the Republican Party, Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz.

"Creepy Ted" messaged Trump on his newly-opened Parler account, after being kicked off Twitter. "First his father-in-law conspired with Oswald, then he committed election fraud in the 2016 Iowa Caucus against me. Now he tried to stop the election results in Congress, what a loser!" continued Trump. "Did his wife improve her looks? I don't think so."

"And then we have "Beanpole Josh", another loser. He's the one that signaled those nutjobs to attack the Capitol with that raised fist, I had nothing to do with it. Very sad how that worked out."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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