What Do You Call This Former President?

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 21 January 2021

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Trump keeping a stiff upper lip

White House, Washington, D. C. Special to The Spoof. By late afternoon, with the Inauguration festivities over and quiet descending on the press room at the White House, correspondents from all the major wire services and media news outlets began asking each other what title should be used in referring to the former president, Donald Trump.

"Since he was voted out of office by seven million votes," said the NBC correspondent, "I'd refer to him as "The Unpresidented Donald Trump'."

"I was going to suggest that, too," responded Woof Blister from The Spoof, "but in my version, he's "Unpresidented" because he was impeached twice, which has never happened before."

The staid reporter for the New York Times chimed in: "We're a little more formal at The Times. He'll simply be 'Mr. Trump'."

"That's not the way it's done in the American Legion Auxiliary," said an unidentified woman. "He'd be 'Past President Trump'."

The man representing an academic publication, the Chronicle of Higher Education, offered: "How about calling him 'President Emeritus Trump'?"

The correspondent wearing a military uniform, from Stars and Stripes, smiled: "No, he's the 'Commander-in-Chief, Ret'."

A representative for the religious press ended the discussion: "He'll always be 'the Defrocked Former President'."

At that point, a message came in from the Biden press secretary, noting that "the Ex-Prexy sends his regards to all of you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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