NFL, Big 10 Will Play Games Despite Civil War

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 9 October 2020

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Games will go ahead

Nov. 7, 2020. Atlanta, Georgia. An S.O.S. from Woof Blister, reporting for Spoof On Sports. Despite the undeclared civil war that broke out two days after the disputed presidential election, both the National Football league and the Big Ten college conference issued tweets today that their teams will play as scheduled this weekend.

The stadium at Ann Arbor, where the university of Michigan plays, was destroyed by a right wing militias as they devastated the liberal, pro-Democrat Wolverine campus with rocket and mortar fire, so the game with Penn State has been moved to State College, PA. No fans will be allowed in the stadium there, both as a precaution against Covid-19 and out of concern that a large crowd might be considered a good target by rebels on either side.

The rivalry between the San Francisco 49ers and the Los Angeles Rams, scheduled to resume on Sunday, has been postponed to an as-yet undetermined date, following the atomic bombing of both cities by Trump supporters, who insist the election of Joe Biden was rigged. This followed a nerve gas attack by leftists on Trump strongholds in Abilene, Idaho Falls and Oklahoma City.

NFL Commissioner Roger Udell justified continuation of the current schedule, saying that: "We don't want to increase tension by cancelling our games. Besides, Americans look to sports for diversion from disconcerting events like a virus or a civil war. We are only doing our part. And didn't professional sports continue during WWII? If there had been an NFL during the first civil war, we would have brought the country together as Northern teams played those from the South."

Meanwhile, the NBA finals have been postponed once again, as the Lakers have have fled Los Angeles, taking refuge in Mexico City.

In other news, the death toll from Covid-19 has passed 300,000, while the estimated deaths after two days of civil war are nearing three million.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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