Professor’s Death Wish for Trump Supporters is Kindly Meant

Funny story written by G. Brookings

Sunday, 20 September 2020

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Jennifer Mosher, a professor at Marshall University in West Virginia, was suspended last week after saying she hoped President Trump’s supporters would all die from the coronavirus.

When the backlash hit, the professor explained, "I’m sorry, but that’s so frustrating — just — I don’t know what else to do. You can’t argue with them, you can’t talk sense with them. I said to somebody yesterday I hope they all die before the election."

According to CNN, Ms. Mosher had been triggered by an earlier argument with some illegally ungagged Trump supporters. Asked by CNN if others felt the same way, Ms. Mosher admitted that most of her Twitter circle - not to say “friends”, an outmoded and tribally conservative idea - have openly expressed the desire to exterminate stubborn opponents who do not listen to reason, or even worse, pretend to have better reasons.

“Well, of course,” the strikingly pretty CNN reporter said, working hard to bond with the professor, a woman roughly the size and shape of a small UHaul trailer, “it is a very fair question. What can you do when someone repeats, as a fact, what you know to a falsehood? At CNN, we fact-check them with our own made-up facts.”

“That’s exactly right,” Ms. Mosher answered, grateful for the prompting, “First, we demand they not speak, then come the threats and doxing. Eventually, we show up en masse at a residence or place of work with tools needed to make the point more forcefully: that people who disagree with us are not welcome, and their opinions will not be heard.”

“And, if they still do not relent?” the reporter coaxed.

“Well, if, after all this, they continue to speak, one reaches the point where they are revealed as obviously irredeemable, barely human, and deserving of whatever they get. But, hopefully, someone will give it to them before November 3.”

Reacting to what he called “a vicious, Bolshevik screed”, conservative radio and Fox News personality Sean Hannity observed that the mass murderers Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot would be proud that so much of their empathetic, heart-felt philosophy of man has retained its relevance and vitality, and is still being taught today. “If we are honest,” Hannity agreed, “we must acknowledge our own slightly homicidal distress at the fact that people like Ms. Mosher are permitted to teach at all. But, still, we conservatives wish her well, and pray that she does not choke to death on a plateful of French fries before November 3, because we are dying to see the look on her face on November 4, after Trump wins.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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