President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, finally got to make his nomination acceptance speech yesterday, but not before a mysterious personality from his dim past threatened to spoil his big day.
Before taking the stage, the President was waylaid by one of his old lovers, a woman by the name of Deidre Fatbottom. She apparently threatened to sue him a couple of years ago for psychological trauma and hurt, after Donald ended their relationship in the early 1970s.
Ms Fatbottom yesterday approached Mr Trump and reminded him that she was still suffering after all those years, and wanted some financial redress. Donald apparently told her to buzz off.
The disgruntled former Trump lover has now decided enough is enough. She will now consider paying a hitman to settle the matter for her.