WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - The United States Postal Service wants to inform the American people that their “Forever Stamps”, which were priced at 55 cents, or $11 for a book of 20, have now changed.
The USPS regrets that they are having to raise the price of the so-called “Forever Stamps” from 55 cents to 95 cents, but they have to, in order to pay for all of the unemployment checks, and government bailout checks that they are having to mail out.
One employee, who is 'in the know', revealed that the rise in stamp price was made to help defray the $340 million cost to the American taxpayers that Trump's golf outings have cost.
The Postal Service has revealed that they have been receiving over 7,000 phone calls per hour complaining that it is illegal to raise the price of the stamps because forever means forever.
The U.S. Post Office director of Stamp Pricing has said that she is informing all of the postal workers to simply transfer all complaint calls to the White House.