Trump Said Coronavirus Gone In Two Weeks

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 28 February 2020

image for Trump Said Coronavirus Gone In Two Weeks
"We're finding a cure."

Bone spur expert and beauty contest entrepreneur, Donald Trump, announced that the coronavirus would eventually disappear with the 'hot season.'

And, with Trump’s dismissive leadership on a pandemic, so will the human race.

Not to worry. Trump has appointed Vice President Mike Pence to mind the virus. Pence, who appears to be hypnotized by Trump - his eyes never moving away from Trump when Trump speaks - has no scientific or medical background, except that he’s pro-life, but now is supervising a deadly virus.

How do you like that kick in the pants? God has an ironic sense of humor, and must be pro-choice.

At least Trump didn’t appoint Steven Segal in charge of the coronavirus. But sleepy-head isn’t much better. Pence will snap into attention after a Super Bowl bucket of ice water is poured on his head, and appoint a commission to study the situation. In two years, he’ll present an 800-page report to Congress.

The report will not be made public until Attorney General William Barr reads it first, creates his own seven-sentence summary, go before Congress and publicly announce that Trump has been exonerated.

Outraged, remaining living Democrats will insist that the House impeach Trump for incompetence and failure to halt the coronavirus. Nancy says: Not incompetent enough to be impeached for incompetence.

“He looked into the sun during an eclipse.”

True, but no cigar.

Exonerated and boldened, Trump announces the coronavirus was manufactured and started in Ukraine, and Joe Biden carried it around the world in his record player.

A whistleblower reports that Trump promised Zelensky, head of Ukraine, a White House visit if he would confess to starting the virus, but Zelensky refused.

Trump then said he didn’t have to confess, exactly, just say you’re going to investigate that possibility, and you’ll get a White House visit.

Hearing of the quid pro quo, Nancy announces Trump's impeachment hearings.

The whistleblower is fired, promises to write a book about working for the Trump White House, but can’t testify.

And whatever happened to the 2020 presidential election?

The election got the coronavirus and was canceled by Trump.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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