Gissell Whitehead, age unknown, confided to reporters, late Friday, that she has no idea how her husband, Duncan, is supposed to earn enough money to pay off her $25,000 credit card debt.
"I have gone through his bank statements, royalties, dividends and, to be honest, I have no clue how he is going to dig himself out of this one. More than likely, he is going to have to go and get a second, maybe even third job," said Gissell, as she sipped on a $12 latte from Starbucks.
"What, with interest, missed payment charges, and everything, I just can't see him paying off my debt in his lifetime. Then, of course, he still has to pay for my hair appointments every week, nails, new shoes every other week, lunches with my friends, and, of course, all the other useless shit I continually order online every day."
Every day. Every fucking day.