Angry Mobs of Women in Coronavirus Lockdown Storm Michigan Governor's Office

Funny story written by Amiko Aventurista

Friday, 1 May 2020

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Beauty Has Its Pricde

Adding to the already volatile coronavirus lockdown situation in Michigan, women are on the verge of mass civil action against Governor Whitmer and Sally's Beauty Supply. Yesterday, Michigan "Liberty Warriors" men came to the capital, guns in tow, demanding an end to the coronavirus lockdown. Without hesitation, Governor Whitmer refused to back down, citing public health concerns. Today, Governor Whitmer faces a greater challenge than a heavily armed group of anti-government men--she faces angry women with just one thing on their mind.

Social media is ablaze with videos and first-hand accounts of marauding women, in mobs of up to 5,000, attempting to storm into shuttered Sally's Beauty Supply stores. On March 13, Sally's management closed all stores until the end of the pandemic, or an 'okay' from the Governor. After nearly two months of boarded stores, the stress on some women appears unbearable. Although the uprising has no apparent leader, what the women want is absolute--opening of beauty stores.

Claire Jamison was quoted on social media expressing the thoughts of the multitude. "I'm a single mom, and I got one message. The governor won't open nail salons and Sally's is closed. What are we gonna do? My toe nails look like Jim Carrey's on Dumb and Dumber. Yesterday, I nearly cut my boyfriend's jugular vein doing the wild thing with him! I'm talking public health here, Ms. Whitmer!" The sense of injustice was further aggravated by the appearance of a well-manicured Governor Whitmer. "She's got some nerve," said Jamison.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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