CLEVELAND, Ohio – The Duchess Disinfecting Company has stated that their cleaning products are powerful cleaning disinfectants and they should never, ever be ingested orally or otherwise.
The company’s Chief Director of Public Relations, Olivia Timbertock, asked that everyone please ignore the remark made by the leader of the free world, who should know better.
The president was asked, by a reporter, why he would even remotely say that taking a disinfectant would kill the virus, when doing so could cause tremendous harm.
POTUS got that cat-that-ate-the-canary-look and said, “Look it was a joke, a hoax, it was something that I think I heard some Democrat say, maybe Pelosi, maybe Schumer, maybe Minnie Mouse, I don’t know. I just know that I really miss playing golf every day. And right now I am feeling horribly colluded, Kellyanne sweetie, get me a chair.”
Kellyanne got a totally puzzled look on her face, and replied, “Ah, Mr. President, you just sat down on a chair six seconds ago, sir.”
“I know that, I was just joking. I was just colluding with you, like that witch hunter from the Judy Garland movie, ‘The Wizard of Ozzy Osbourne.’”
Suddenly a reporter from the back yelled out. “Quick, someone call 911, we need the guys from the loony bin to get over here damn quick, we’ve got us a live one.”