Federal Reserve Imposes Negative Interest with Quarter Point Debit on All Savings Accounts

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 16 March 2020

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Mattresses - the traditional savings banks

Federal Reserve HQ, Washington D. C. Having failed to bolster the markets with a half-point cut in interest rates last week, and with a further cut to 0 interest on savings apparently a failure as well, Federal Reserve chairman Powell ordered a negative charge of one quarter of a point on all savings accounts in U.S. banks. The intent is to force savings depositors to move their money into the stock or bond markets.

"We have $20 trillion locked up in savings accounts that could be invested in good old American stocks and bonds, driving Dow higher, and bond interest rates lower. Instead, the nation's seniors have put their money into the mattress of a savings account that does the economy little good. This negative interest rate will force them to do something productive with their money."

Initial reports from banks indicated most older depositors, acting to avoid Powell's tax on their savings, were indeed moving their money to another mattress, the one in their bedrooms.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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