Former Ohio State Wrestling Coach Rep. Jim Jordan Is in a World of Deep Donkey Dung

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Sunday, 8 March 2020

image for Former Ohio State Wrestling Coach Rep. Jim Jordan Is in a World of Deep Donkey Dung
A congressional page has said that the arrogantly sarcastic Jim Jordan has suddenly turned into a little timid pussy cat.

NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun Observer has just acknowledged that GOP representative and noted Trump defender, Rep. Jim Jordan, is feeling extremely nervous these days.

The former Ohio State wrestling coach told his good friend and fellow GOPer Kevin “No Nuts” Nunes that 93 ex-Ohio State wrestlers have now come forward with claims that he made charcoal drawings of their peckers without their permission.

When confronted with this claim, Jordan simply shook his head and explained that all 93 wrestlers were simply lying, and that it was just a hoax, a witch hunt, a Halloween prank, and a severe case of mistaken identity.

An unnamed Jordan staffer disclosed that “Locker Room Boy” Jordan was so nervous that his tongue has not been able to stop vibrating.

The same staffer further added that, as a result, no one wants to sit anywhere near jittery Jordan in the Congressional Cafeteria.

IN CLOSING – Jordan told Sean Hannity that he has never heard of Ohio State University, much less been there.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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