34 Members of Vogelcheck Family Come Down With Coronavirus After Holiday Event

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Friday, 6 March 2020

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Vogelcheck Get-Together With Unfortunate Outcome

New Warsaw, Iowa - The sanitary practices of a local family have been called into question, after almost three dozen extended family members were tested positive for coronavirus at a North Side Hospital.

Local health officials immediately cordoned-off the residences belonging to family members, and quarantined several households belonging to Vogelcheck relatives to prevent spread of the virus to the community.

A few non-family members who attended the family get-together event reported that it was customary to greet family and acquaintances at the door by french kissing, licking face and generally slobbering on everyone entering the premises.

"This is how we welcome our loved ones in the old country. We don't understand everyone's concern,' said patriarch, Dimitri Vogelcheck, before leaving to visit his physician nearby.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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