Man Robs Congressional Member Bank...GOP Says "Let 'Em Go - He Did Nothin'"

Funny story written by JinoLeFeeto

Sunday, 24 November 2019

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Congressional Bank Robbery Attempt or Not?

Today, a man entered the Congressional Bank, a bank serving members of the Senate and the House. It was all caught on HD security cameras. He gave a note to the teller, telling the teller to fill a bag.

The teller asked him, "What bag?"

The man looked at the teller, and then all around him. He asked, "You understand that I am here to rob the bank, though, right?"

"Yes, and as you might have guessed, I've already used my foot to set off a silent alarm," said the teller, smiling calmly.

"I'll just go, then," said the man, smiling. "I'm not taking anything, so there is no quid pro quo, even though I demanded it be put in a bag."

"Yes, that is true. We don't normally keep bags handy for bank robberies though, but I did feel pressure from you to give you the money that you asked for, even though you did not pressure me. In fact, you did not say 'money'."

"Then, how did you know what I wanted? You got nothing on me," he said.

"I have this note you gave me, and it has your fingerprints. I have the people whom I have alerted with my alarm, and we have about 20 different cameras with you on them."

"It's all circumstantial, and the note says nothing about money," said the man.

Meanwhile, at the Department of Justice, William Barr was in consultation with Congressional Member Bank Security and Senator Lindsey Graham.

"I think this gentleman really didn't mean any harm," said Lindsey Graham to William Barr, "and, if we nail him, then what does it say about our President?"

"Absolutely," replied Barr, "so we spring him then?"

Lindsay nodded, "Okay, boys and girls, let 'em go."

Back at the bank, the man was surrounded by Capital Police, armed to the teeth, but word came, and they dispersed. Word came that he was to go free.

"Ahh, there, you see, there was nothing to it," said the man, happily leaving the bank.

"Here we go again," said the teller.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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