New York Governor Cuomo: 164 Sudden Covid Deaths, Bullet Holes Aside

Written by Wilder

Monday, 18 May 2020

image for New York Governor Cuomo: 164 Sudden Covid Deaths, Bullet Holes Aside
New York Payoff system frozen

New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, requests money from the rest of America to cover "Rapid Covid-19 deaths" in New York City.

Cuomo stated, "these people were in perfect health until struck down by a new classification of 'Sudden Covid Death Syndrome'".

Cuomo: "To onlookers, the multiple bullet holes in the recent 164 victims may look like contributing factors to the deceaseds' sudden demises, but to experts like me, getting free government money to pass to my contributors, I can tell you, with a pure 100% degree of confidence, it was the Covid-19."

He added: "People in flyover states may attribute large numbers of people being interned in the morgue by our deep disdain of the 5-0 in poor neighborhoods, and having private security in my rich contributor-gated communities, but without any possible doubt, it was the Covid-19. People are calling NYC the "Rotten Apple", but this too is due to Covid-19 influx delusion."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more