Prince Andrew blames his refusal to help US Attorney on “those pesky sweat glands”

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Wednesday, 29 January 2020

image for Prince Andrew blames his refusal to help US Attorney on “those pesky sweat glands”
Library picture of British man sweating like a pig during shagging session

Buckingham Palace was under the spotlight again today, as US Attorney, Geoffrey Berman, said at a news conference that the Prince had so far given "zero cooperation" with the Jeffrey Epstein sex crimes investigation. The Prince had previously promised to help any law enforcement agencies.

But, in an interview with the BBC, the 59-year-old son of the Queen, who also holds the title, Duke of York, blamed his unavailability on his sweat glands, which, he claims, were damaged during the Falklands War. “This catastrophic war injury has left me a broken man, and completely unable to sweat,” he remarked, tears streaming from his cheeks as he recounted his heroism during the 1982 conflict between Britain and Argentina. “This condition prevents me from travelling abroad, except to visit friends. So, you see, I really AM co-operating fully.”

Friends of the Prince have supported him, with several confirming that he does travel abroad to visit them, exactly as he says.

However, medical experts Ant and Dec, have commented that Anhidrosis, the condition of not being able to sweat, doesn’t prevent overseas travel. Further, one young woman has claimed that Prince Andrew “sweated like a pig when he shagged me the other day”.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more