College Admissions Scandal: Judge Orders Celebrity Daughter to Join Female Boxing Team

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 21 November 2019

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Sylvia loves her dad, but not THAT much...

Los Angeles, CA. Art Kohn reporting for Spoof on Sports SOS. A superior court judge presiding over the college admissions scandal, today revealed the punishment for convicted briber, Rock Hunter, the Hollywood star who paid one million dollars to get his daughter into USC as a fraudulent recruit for the female boxing team.

Judge Lance Vito, a graduate of the UCLA law school, ordered Hunter's daughter, Sylvia, who was complicit in the scheme, to join the Trojan female boxing team for one year as an alternative to sending her father to prison for a comparable period.

After viewing photos of team members, with cauliflower ears, flattened noses and missing teeth, Sylvia declined, and hugged her father as he left the courtroom in handcuffs, headed for San Quentin.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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