Nashville Man Promises to Never Do That Again Despite Not Knowing What "That" Is

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 1 December 2019

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An admitted people-pleaser, Sam Chase made a promise that he possibly aims to keep.

When Sam Chase's girlfriend, Hannah Garland, came to him in tears and pleaded for him to never do that again, Sam immediately agreed, only to realize he had no idea what it was that he was committing to not doing.

"She asked me if I understood where she was coming from, and I told her I understood that she was upset," said Sam. "And that was really all that mattered to me."

A self-acknowledged "people-pleaser," Sam admitted that he probably would have promised Hannah virtually anything in the heat of that tortured moment. And, while he remains unclear as to exactly what he's sworn off doing, a few possibilities have come to mind: his borderline-inappropriate text message conversations with an attractive woodworking client; his expensive guitar purchase made, unbeknownst to Hannah, using his and Hannah's joint checking account; or the bagged-up plastic bottles he'd tossed into the regular trash can instead of the recycling bin.

Put on the spot as he was, Sam says he does not feel ethically bound by his promise to Hannah - but, even so, he's aiming to possibly keep it, assuming it involves the recycling issue.

"I do care about the environment," he said. "I would hate for her to think I didn't. Fingers crossed it's that one."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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