Greta Thunberg, the Swedish environmental campaign activist schoolgirl who has taken the world by storm by staring gloweringly into the faces of polluters and their stooges, has been nominated for several prodigious awards in relation to her 'work'.
The pocket-sized Thunberg, 16, rose to prominence when she upbraided her parents for throwing away too much food after meals, calling them the Swedish equivalent of "wasteful", and insisting upon having the leftovers re-hashed as 'something else' at the very next meal.
Stony-faced Thunberg then decided that the future of Planet Earth needed her more than she needed her education, and promptly dropped school from her routine until the more important business of the conditions suitable for Man's existence had been secured.
All this extremely hard work and sacrifice has been noted by several loosely-scientific organizations, and, earlier today, came the news that she has been nominated for the following awards.
• The New York Science Museum has put her name forward in their "Seriousest Scientist" program.
• The Stockholm branch of Science and Defiance has confirmed that she is amongst those up for a prize in this year's "Most Intense and Piercing Stare" competition. John Lydon was a previous winner.
• Her school has said she is a frontrunner for the "Absentee of the Year" award.
• 'The Young Scientist' magazine's 'Helper of the Year' Award.
Greta is currently away on business, but her parents say they expect to see her when she returns home for Christmas. Her mum said:
"It'll be so nice to see her again. I've forgotten what she looks like."