Nashville Man Ironically Loses His Loser Identity

Written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 22 October 2019

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"I probably should have predicted this," said former loser Harry Reston, who managed to lose even his loser identity.

Long identified as a loser by both his friends and himself, Harry Reston of Nashville, Tennessee, serendipitously and nearly simultaneously procured a new house, a wonderful mate, and a much-improved work situation - but in the process lost his loser identity.

"It's bizarre," said Harry. "Being a loser was the one thing I thought I could count on. And I managed to lose even that."

He chuckled. "I guess I should have predicted this. Just goes to show, people never really change."

Jarring as it was, the loss of his loser identity hasn't been entirely without benefits, says Harry. He feels more confident and lighthearted, and he's even taken up an enjoyable new hobby: playing the guitar, which he'd always considered off limits to him because it was too cool. The most significant down sides are elevated expectations on the part of others and himself, and increased accountability.

"It's a mixed bag," said Harry. "Like everything, I guess."

For these reasons, Harry is allowing himself ample time to grieve the loss of his identity.

"It hasn't been easy," he said. "You think you know who you are, and then something like this happens, and everything's turned upside-down. But what can you do? That's life. I'm talking it one day at a time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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