Harry Maguire To Lead 'Storm Area 51' Charge

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire To Lead 'Storm Area 51' Charge
They can't stop us all: Harry Maguire disguised as Joda, outside A51

As the tension in Nevada increases in the build-up to this coming weekend's extraterrestrial events at Area 51, the Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire, has thrown his hat into the ring, and says that he, himself, will travel to the US to take part in the storming of the Air Force base.

The Yorkshireman will not only take part in the charge, he will lead it.

Area 51 is the place where, allegedly, aliens are housed, and the base became the focus of world media attention when Matty Roberts of Bakersfield, a 20-year-old student, announced on Facebook that he was intending to breach the facility on September 20, in order to discover if the claims about aliens were true. Millions showed interest online.

In England, Maguire, who is as interested in aliens as anyone else is, decided he would like to be there when ET was uncovered, and told United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, he would be needing some time off. The defender will miss Thursday's Europa League game against FC Astana at Old Trafford, but hopes to be back to face West Ham on Sunday (kick-off 2pm).

The US military has warned people not to try to get into the base, and have said that they will open fire on anyone that does. But Maguire said:

"I'm Harry Maguire, the £80million defender. It'll take more than a few optimum military weapons to stop me!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more