Anxiety Found to Be Totally Badass Emotion

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 22 August 2019

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Anxiety''s tenacity and laser-focus help her beat out lesser emotions, like hope.

While some emotions have been shown to not take much initiative or even be downright lazy, anxiety has been found to be the hardest-working of all the emotional states - to the extend that some have described her as a total badass.

"She's a real go-getter," said psychologist Linda Franklin. "She never takes a break."

Dr. Franklin went on to explain that other emotions, like inspiration, elation, and exhilaration tend to burn very brightly but comparatively briefly, and very intermittently. "Anxiety, on the other hand, is in it for the long haul. She's good at racing fast, but she's also got stamina. And her determination knows no bounds."

Dr. Franklin went on to highlight some other ways in which the personality characteristics of other emotions differ from what is commonly presumed.

"Sloth, interestingly enough, is actually a very effective worker,"  she said. "I wouldn't say he works hard, exactly, but he works very smart, constantly coming up with new, highly innovative ways to accomplish his ultimate aim of energy conservation. And be wary, ladies - he's a very smooth talker and impressively cunning, with an uncanny ability to make excuses seem like brilliant self-revelations."

Hope, too, is an emotional state that's a bit misunderstood, said Dr. Franklin.

"She's very sweet, but just not very smart," said Dr. Franklin. "People really like her, but, honestly, she probably gets a lot more credit than she deserves. She's got a wonderful attitude, but she doesn't accomplish much in the way of actual results."

On the whole, summarized Dr. Franklin,, like people, all of our emotional states have their good qualities and their not-so-good qualities - but given her tenacity and laser-focus, it's clear why anxiety is a real leader in the field.

"It shouldn't be any surprise that she's winning the race," said Dr. Franklin. "These days, she's just about the only one who's really got what it takes."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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