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Funny satire stories about Emotions

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Funny story: Dove Feels Unfairly Pigeonholed

Dove Feels Unfairly Pigeonholed

Fed up with constantly being regarded as a symbol of peace, a dove named Dave, from New York City, admitted to feeling unfairly pigeonholed. “I’ve got nothing against peace, of course,” said Dave. “But I also experience a whole range of other emot...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Narrowly Avoids Authentic Conversation

Nashville Man Narrowly Avoids Authentic Conversation

After honing his meaningless banter to an optimal level of fluff, all his efforts at superficiality nearly went out the window, when Clint Hargrave of Nashville, Tennessee, was almost drawn into an authentic conversation at his workplace. "It was...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Successfully Articulates a Feeling

Nashville Man Successfully Articulates a Feeling

Uncertain what to do about a physical sensation in his chest that seemed to resemble an emotion, Trenton Locke of Nashville, Tennessee, took a stab at articulating the apparent feeling - to great effect. "I told the woman I was dating that I was a...

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Funny story: Anxiety Found to Be Totally Badass Emotion

Anxiety Found to Be Totally Badass Emotion

While some emotions have been shown to not take much initiative or even be downright lazy, anxiety has been found to be the hardest-working of all the emotional states - to the extend that some have described her as a total badass. "She's a real g...

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Funny story: People-Pleasing Woman Concerned about Telling Her Therapist to Fuck Off

People-Pleasing Woman Concerned about Telling Her Therapist to Fuck Off

Jenny Hampton of New York City, a self-described "people-pleaser" who goes to enormous lengths to win people's approval, to her own detriment, says that she wants to tell her arrogant, condescending therapist to fuck off, but is concerned as to what...

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Funny story: Beverage Company Offers Bottling Service for Emotions

Beverage Company Offers Bottling Service for Emotions

Responding to skyrocketing rates of depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders, international beverage company Sweet T, Inc., has introduced a bottling service for emotions. “We can handle virtually any unpleasant emotion,” boasted Sweet T CEO...

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Funny story: Nashville Narcissist Finally Figures Out Where His Father Utterly Failed Him

Nashville Narcissist Finally Figures Out Where His Father Utterly Failed Him

After years of fending off complaints about his self-centeredness, grandiosity and extreme narcissism, Trent Lockwood of Nashville, Tennessee, finally figured out that any emotional shortcoming on his part was due to the fact that, as a young boy, hi...

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Funny story: Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

According to a recent report from the National Institute of Health, in this age of mass shootings, climate chaos and downward-spiraling human health, an increasing number of Americans have opted to undergo a cutting-edge elective procedure known as c...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Experiences What He's Pretty Sure Is a Feeling

Nashville Man Experiences What He's Pretty Sure Is a Feeling

Late yesterday afternoon, East Nashville resident Gregg Pardon experienced a markedly unpleasant tingling sensation deep in his gut, which he tentatively believes to have been a feeling. "I can't verify one hundred percent," stated Pardon, "but ba...

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Funny story: Off your Facebook

Off your Facebook

I find it ridiculous to accuse the glorious and magnificent all-powerful Facebook being of manipulating my emotions. I was logged in for an hour this morning and found it very enlightening to rapidly assimilate the Cyrillic alphabet. Must reach Kremlin. If my emotions were manipulated surely I'd be ecstatic that England are out of the World Cup and I'm not. Mainly because they are still in it acco...

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Funny story: Mother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth

Mother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth

Kansas City, MO - Despite always on-going efforts to increase the impact of their greeting cards, Hallmark Cards has confirmed that - in the opinions of the thousands of mothers polled each year - none of the cards in their line of Mother's Day cards...

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Funny story: Dildos Intimidate Gun Club Members

Dildos Intimidate Gun Club Members

A sportsman's club in Pennsylvania claims an animal rights group tormented its members with "emotional violence" to protest its using pigeons for target shooting. Philadelphia Gun & Hunting Inc. filed a federal lawsuit against the animal right...

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Funny story: Large ties boost emotional impact

Large ties boost emotional impact

Seeing someone wearing a big tie makes us feel more emotional, according to researchers at Tarzarus University. Dr Fashun Guru got 10 blokes to wear ties of different sizes. Another 25 volunteers were asked to interact with them. Most people hardl...

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Funny story: Do people not know you're joking? There's an app for that

Do people not know you're joking? There's an app for that

My Way Apps have released an app that is set to take the Frivolous App Market by storm, iWink. "This is fantastic," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "For years I have suffered with people not realising I'm being sarcastic or joking. My cutting w...

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Funny story: Emoticons become English

Emoticons become English

The Oxford English dictionary has made the remarkable step of allowing some so-called emoticons into the dictionary complete with full definitions. Emoticons are the punctuation marks that display emotional responses, such as the traditional smile...

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Funny story: Angry Man Lives Life to Fullest, Thanks to Television

Angry Man Lives Life to Fullest, Thanks to Television

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - It's been just over a year since John Q. Tickenbaum, 39, watched Pushing the Human Body's Limits on Discovery's Channel, but he claims the program fundamentally changed his way of thinking about stress and anger, ultimately transf...

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Funny story: Meh wins 'Expression of Nonchalance' award for second year

Meh wins 'Expression of Nonchalance' award for second year

In a hard fought battle, the word Meh has just pipped a silent shrug to the title of Expession of Nonchalance 2009. Meh has been a favourite for the title since it easily beat the previous titleholder Whatever in 2007. At the awards held in Londo...

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