A shock investigation by a popular American magazine has revealed that by the year 2050 an incredible 95% of American citizens will have accidentally killed each other through the negligent discharge of firearms. The in-depth analysis comes after…
Republicans across the country today celebrated the one millionth mass killing. The shooting at the Carruthers, Mississippi Mall resulted in one death and five other injuries. According to Republican House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy, the casualty…
In a minor case that no one thought would reach the high court, the justices today ruled, unanimously, that the only "arms" covered by the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights are muskets. The decision by a conservative dominated Trump appointed co…
“It had to be done.” stated Max Warner of the Americans For The Right To Blow Away Trespassers association when interviewed about the mass annihilation at the NRA Headquarters by other gun rights groups yesterday. “Their day had come and gone. They h…
President Joe Biden has announced sweeping changes to US gun laws in an attempt to halt the rising incidences of police and mass shootings. "All guns will be modified to fire gobs of whipped cream instead of bullets. Like in Bugsy Malone," said t…
A man has revealed how, after being prompted to do so by an advertizement he saw on the internet, he is considering joining the NRA. The annual membership fee being charged is only $30, and is well within his budget. The only slight doubt in hi...
There was 'light at the end of the tunnel' for those hoping for gun reform this evening, when President Donald Trump issued an executive order via Twitter, that "sales of weapons, to certain kinds of people, should not happen on the weekend." "Thi...
Another two mass shootings in America (250 this year. We do expect that to be 251 by the time this piece is published) have claimed the lives of 29 people, and once again the gun laws of the nation are under attack. With many calling for stricter...
In a surprise development, members of the public who visited the offices of the National Rifle Association (NRA) in Fairfax County, Virginia this morning, have described the building as closed, "boarded-up", windows smashed, car park empty, and "look...
Earlier today, Colonel Oliver North, the President of the NRA, announced his new gun initiative called, “No More Blood, Just Paint.” Due to the national news tragedies involving guns, specifically school shootings, North believed he had to take a st...
Washington D.C. The National Rifle Association is addressing climate change. In a bid to abandon its outdated message that everyone needs a Glock and an AR-15, in case they want to go on an impromptu hunting trip, they've made the move to a more pres...
The NRA, reeling after the public notice of their being cash strapped as of late, have decided to expand their financial base of interests to survive. Since their specialized focus of interest are items of destruction it only follows that their busin...
In a kingdom long ago (OK, maybe not so long ago), there lived, in a thousand villages in the demesne, a happy and peaceful people who sent their children off to school each day, secure in the knowledge that their children were receiving the best education that a developed and tight-fisted kingdom could afford. A few decades back (in this kingdom, remember, somewhat long ago), there arose, amon...
President Trump and the National Rifle Association announced at a joint news conference that together they would urge Congress to appropriate $12,800,000,000 to provide every student in the country with a ballistic vest. "It's a win-win situation,...
The hero of the latest US Gun Outrage (USGO) in Nashville, Tennessee yesterday says he acted in the way that he did, because he hoped he might be given a free waffle. Heroic James Shaw Jr., 29, wrestled the naked gunman, Travis Reinking - mysterio...
The Northern California head office of YouTube was itself in the news yesterday, after being stormed by a gunwoman who wounded at least three people when she fired several shots out of a gun she was carrying. The gunwoman later gunned herself to d...
In a land mark ruling, the Supreme Court has declared that “Guns are people too.”. Building upon the famous Citizens United vote that made corporations people and thereby gave them unprecedented power and influence in America, gun lobbyists hope t...
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