Apollo 11 Moon Landing Was Genuine - Lance Armstrong

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 20 July 2019

image for Apollo 11 Moon Landing Was Genuine - Lance Armstrong
The golf ball still orbiting the Earth last night

The Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969 was "absolutely genuine", says cycling's golden boy, Lance Armstrong.

Armstrong is the son of Neil Armstrong who was on the mission, and who famously hit a golf ball from the lunar surface, and uttered the phrase:

"This is one small step for man, but a giant heap for a kindly man."

The cyclist, who was stripped of seven Tour de France victories after he was found to have taken banned substances, says that skepticism over his dad's moon landing has been hurtful, but he is adamant that the mission took place.

"I'm being absolutely honest," he said. "As I stand here before you, and as God is my witness, my dad stood on the moon's surface, and drove that golf ball 400trillion miles, from a rough lie, and I am innocent."

A polygraph test on the cyclist had to be abandoned when the machine went berserk.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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