Trump Told To Go Back To Where His Grandfather Came From

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 16 July 2019

image for Trump Told To Go Back To Where His Grandfather Came From
What's good for the goose... Trump starts to pack his shit for the trip 'home'

A hundred and thirty-four years is a long time, but when you say it again, and say to yourself that 134 years is the amount of time that Donald Trump's entire ancestral line has spent in the United States, we have to wonder:

Is it long enough?

Trump, who revels in calling America "our country", was born in 1946, just 61 short years after his paternal grandfather, Friedrich Trump, arrived from the kingdom of Bavaria in 1885. Nobody, back then, could have foreseen the disaster brewing when, with his new name, 'Frederick' met Elisabeth Christ in 1902, and set the Trump presidential bandwagon in motion.

Frederick and Elizabeth - with her new name - begat Frederick Christ Trump in 1905, and he, in time, met Mary Anne MacLeod, and on June 14, 1946, Donald John Trump came up for air for the very first time.

Is this really what passes for being an American? Bavarian and Scottish ancestors, and only as far back as your mom and dad having been born in the country?

Other, longer-established Americans have now spoken out. One of them, Frank Smith, whose family have been in the US since 1851, said:

"Trump's a newcomer! He also speaks a crock of shit. If we're going to set 'qualifying periods' of time spent in the US, to decide whether or not someone should be able to stay here, the president's on dodgy ground."

Jenny Wilders ancestors came over from Holland in 1807. She said:

"It seems fitting, somehow, that Trump's relatively recent connection with America is through Bavaria, bearing in mind the ideology that sprang up there in the 1930s, and the one that's bubbling away inside his own mind, right now."

And Alice Symonds, who can claim US ancestry since 1741, was even more forceful:

"If we're going to play that silly game, the president should pack his bags and go back to where his grandfather came from!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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