The Four Hos Of The Apocalypse Ride Again

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 15 July 2019

image for The Four Hos Of The Apocalypse Ride Again

BILLINGSGATE POST: Silhouetted against a stage festooned with the Hammer and Sickle State Flag of the Soviet Union and pictures of Lenin and Stalin, the Four Hos of the Apocalypse rode again. In Biblical lore they are known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction and Death. These are only aliases. Their real names are AOC, Omar, Tlaib and Pressley. They form the crest of the Democrat Party before which no greater assembly of Commie Pinkos has ever been thrown together, although this is debatable.

The Four Hos strode to their platform today, stomping like latter-day Budweiser Clydesdales. Their noses were flared and their eyes glistening. Raging like unroped cyclones, they ripped and crashed through their diatribe; a relentless onslaught of lip-smacking bile that sent tinkles up the legs of Rachel Maddow, where they found, as Gertrude Stein wrote of Oakland, “no there there.”

Like the Three Stooges plus one, Moe, Curly, Larry and Shemp, the Four Hos Nyuk-Nyuked through their scripted presentation. When asked by the press what her message was, AOC responded; “I’m trying to think, but nothing happens.”

Their whirling twisted dialogue raged from the start, then dropped down to new depths. It roared throughout, striking nothing. Calling for the President to be impeached, their vision of becoming the Four Hos of the Apocalypse became evident. As each one’s turn at the microphone stretched out to meaningless posturing, it became evident that this cyclone couldn't be roped in by Nancy Pelosi.

Ripping and crashing, they have become the Democrat Party's last vestige of hope against the relentless onslaught of Donald Trump's triumphant march. Unable to stop it, they have only their storm cellars to hide in.

They gave all that they had. But when an elephant tears in with the speed of a tiger, what chance has flesh and blood to hold the line? After they had finished, Trump hammered the Four Hos with relentless and remorseless power jabs to the breadbasket, never easing up and allowing them a second breath. The cyclonic power of Truth vs Evil prevailed.

Against heavy odds, Trump will triumph once again. When the final score is recorded, the last bastion of defense against the encroaching Bolshevik hordes will win out. Floating on the wings of angels, the sharp hooves of history will grind the godless infidels into their desperate bunkers. Unlike Hitler, they will survive...Alas, providence once more denied.

Slim Everdingle: “Those who have tried to tackle an elephant can understand.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Fortunately, there is an alternative to this madness.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more