Up To The Minute Hurricane Barry Coverage

Written by Word Wizard

Saturday, 13 July 2019

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Gulf States In Preparation

The Gulf states have been preparing for the onslaught of yet another major storm set to impact the area. No strangers to these storms, citizens have been urged to heed the advice, warnings, and evacuation plans of officials and spokespeople, regardless of how often they have faced these situations before.

Our reporters are braving the elements along the coast and reporting the latest news back to us. Let's check in with them.

Anderson Cuomo - Baton Rouge
"About 9 A.M. it rained for 47 minutes, then it stopped for 22 minutes and then rained again for 14 minutes. Right now it has stopped raining again, but the forecast is calling for more rain, lots of rain."

Brianna Lemon - New Orleans
"Wow, it's really raining now. Not like those misters at a baseball stadium, but more like my shower at home. We haven't seen rain like this in at least a week. My panties are drenched."

......BREAKING NEWS......

LOUISIANA GOVERNOR JOHN BEL EDWARDS PROPOSES A TOP PRIORITY LEGISLATIVE BILL CHANGING THE NAME OF LOUISIANA TO "EMERGENCY"

In a statement just released, Governor Edwards explained that these hurricanes hit here so often, it will be easier to just always live in the State of Emergency.

More reporting from the scene...

Chris Tapper - Shreveport
"I just felt a wind gust, guys! It was major. It almost blew my Drew Brees edition Saints baseball cap off."

Mika Scarborough - New Orleans
"It's amazing. They called for rain and wind and it's here! They nailed the hell out of this forecast. I can feel the rain on just about every part of my body. It is raining so hard that the rain hits the ground, bounces back up to create the rarely-seen 'upside-down rain'. I saw the wind blowing leaves around. Joe says I should go seek shelter with him now...so...gotta go."

Check for more updates and stay safe.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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