BTS Are "Completely Different" From Anything That Has Gone Before

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 17 May 2019

image for BTS Are "Completely Different" From Anything That Has Gone Before
The Bangkok BTS - no pictures of the Korean septet were available

They are currently the hottest thing in pop music, filling stadiums with screaming fans all over the world, breaking all records with sales of their albums, and topping the charts of all civilized countries who have them - they are BTS, the Korean K-pop phenomenon, and there has been nothing like them before!

BTS have been together since 2013, when they all met at school. Four of them were in the same class, which is a pop music record! All of the band are handsome, and each one has several girlfriends!

We don't know their names, but are confident they are nice.

They started out as a hip-hop band, but quickly morphed into several other musical genres and hairstyles.

All the band members contribute to their material, and songs have been written on subjects as diverse as love, relationship breakdowns, clothes, sneakers, crossdressing, make-up, and hair products.

One music commentator said:

"They are unlike anything that has gone before! Yes, we've had Elvis Presley, the Beatles, David Bowie, the Bay City Rollers and so on, but there's never been anything like BTS! They are unique! In fact, they are uniquely unique!"

Music critic, Paul Morley, from Manchester, said:

"They've certainly put Korea on the map, because, until now, Korea hasn't been on maps."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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