Trump and Bolton Anxious for Opportunity to Personally Lead Nation's Troops Into War With Iran

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Thursday, 9 May 2019

image for Trump and Bolton Anxious for Opportunity to Personally Lead Nation's Troops Into War With Iran
Warmongering Leaders Get Their Chance to Serve in Iran

Washington - President Donald Trump and National Security Advisor John Bolton are looking forward to an opportunity to showcase the bravery they unfortunately couldn't exhibit during the Vietnam War, due to circumstances beyond their control, by donning helmets, fatigues and gear, grabbing a weapon, and leading U.S. troops against Iran's Revolutionary Guard in a conflict in the Middle East.

Both leaders were unable or unwilling to bravely go into battle in the 1960s, but they assured the nation's young people, who are evaluating opportunities to join the military, that they would be out in front of them in the upcoming conflict.

Trump's doctors declared that he was "fit, ready and able", and had the "attributes of a much younger man", after a physical recently, with no evidence of the bone spurs that ravaged his body in the 1960s, even though he bravely fought through that ailment to become the "best college baseball player in New York " in the 60s.

Bolton decided not to enlist in the infantry in the 60s so he didn't have to "die in a rice paddy" in Southeast Asia, but was eager to involve himself in the field in the upcoming conflict because he was informed there were no rice paddies in Iran.

"We need to go to war with Iran," said Bolton, who many consider one of the main architects of the Iraq debacle, which cost the U.S. thousands of lives and trillions of dollars. "And we should stay there permanently, and run the place, which is what we should have done in Iraq."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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